Our team has decades of experience working with hopeful parents seeking egg donors, sperm donors, surrogates to start their families. We know the egg donation process can feel overwhelming, especially with few friends or family members to talk to who have taken this path. That’s why we’re sharing the five fears we hear from hopeful parents, and the five pieces of advice we often share with our egg donor search clients.
When do you know that egg donation is the right decision?
Donor conception is a leap of faith. It might feel scary, but you aren’t going in blind. Many hopeful parents who are facing fertility struggles and considering egg donation have the same question: “When do you know that donor conception is the right decision?” There is no single way to know that donor conception is right for you. It may take discussions with your a specialized therapist to work through the grief that infertility can bring. With the support of Donor Concierge, clients can feel comfortable moving forward. We are dedicated to ensuring hopeful parents feel empowered with knowledge about the egg donation process and armed with as many resources as possible.
Will I have problems connecting with my child?
Connection doesn’t come from genetics, it comes from parenting. Hopeful parents are often afraid that there may be issues of bonding with their donor-conceived child. It is an incredibly common fear for parents who have faced fertility issues, and who may already have lingering anxieties due to infertility. Nearly all of our past clients have described a similar experience: feeling their fears about connection “disappear” as they experience the birth of their child and an overwhelming sense of love. As a parent, you will feel connected to your child regardless of their genetics. You can ensure that they feel proud of their unique conception story, too. Parenting them with love, openness, and support will help them celebrate their unique origins.
Will my child feel closer to my partner, their genetic parent?
Genetics don’t control your child’s love for you. Another fear that hopeful parents express is that their child may bond with their genetic parent more easily. This is a concern that parents via donor egg IVF typically share. Ultimately, nature and nurture are both important factors, and spending quality time with your child will play a more important role in bonding than anything else. Camille Guaty, who welcomed her son via egg donation, expressed how this fear disappeared for her: “There is not a second that goes by that this isn’t my baby. He has my personality, he smiles all the time like me. I think it’s okay to have those thoughts, and it’s totally natural.”
Will having a second child via egg donation be difficult?
Many couples experience secondary infertility, and there are tools to support you. Many couples have different conception stories for their different children. Today, there is no single “typical” family, and modern families of all kinds are happy, healthy and connected. We encourage openness with your children so that they know they are celebrated as an important part of your family and proud of their unique conception. Working with a fertility therapist, joining a support group, or reading books on parenting donor-conceived children might make you feel more confident in approaching these conversations. At the end of the day, the love and support you show for your children will be what connects your family.
How can I find the perfect egg donor?
The perfect egg donor candidate is the egg donor who is healthy, available, and happy to donate to help start your family. Many couples and single parents via egg donation are simply looking for a healthy woman who is happy to donate her eggs to help start a family. Others might have specific criteria in mind, like an egg donor of a specific ethnic background, a blonde egg donor, or even an intelligent egg donor with a specific academic background. Donor Concierge has extensive experience finding the best egg donor candidates for our clients, but we always remind clients that each egg donor is a unique individual who is choosing to go through this process to help you. Ultimately, the perfect egg donor for you will be the one who is healthy and available, and who feels like the best holistic fit for your family.
We hope this helps ease any concerns you may have as you consider the egg donation process. While every hopeful parent is different, there are many who have taken this path and often had similar concerns about the egg donation process. You are not alone, and we are always here to help.
Interested in finding your egg donor with Donor Concierge? Schedule your free consultation today.